victims of abuse support for submissives

[Rowen]

. And yes, they too used their religion as an excuse to attack us and our decisions over the years.

I've never understood why it's so much harder to escape abuse that's delivered under the guise of meaning well. I guess when the people in question aren't trying to physically harm you it's harder to hold their actions up to past experience and say, this is just as bad as that. Maybe it's just the fact that physical abuse leaves a visible mark and is harder to hide.

That is exactly why it so cruel..putting the fear of God in your child..hurting them while telling it is in their best interest, burden them with immense guilt if they even think that its wrong what is happening...that is indeed emotional sadism.

The worst part about it is I learned a number of reactive behaviors .... Sometimes wonder if there isn't something about those behaviors that make people target me over some of the people around me without ever thinking about it because they sense my unfortunate willingness to tolerate beyond what I should?

I have had several times where my (boss/ coworkers/ customers / teachers) attempted to take advantage of my quiet nature. I know I don't have to take any of their crap. But I also know I can handle anything a (stranger/coworker/boss/teacher) hands out, because they don't know me well enough to know exactly where they have to apply pressure before I break.
I don't know what it will take to hurt them, and am unwilling to lash out to find out, especially since I know so well how an abusive remark, even in retaliation, can have long term effects.
Still, it gets frustrating, and tiring, always feeling like I'm on the defensive. It makes it very difficult to get close to people, and to trust them.

You are doing well, you are recognizing patterns, and yes, taking responsibility as well. My compliments for that..and trust me...you are gonna do well...
Because what you describe is perhaps the most devious result of emotional abuse. It imprints behavioiur in you that seems normal and natural to you, but indeed can make you vulnerable, uncertain and neglecting your own needs, feelings. And yes, some people learned otherwise, recognizing those patterns and by that knowing within instant who to lash at..