That's the thing, isn't it, at least if the guy cares about you . . . getting so close but just not there especially when he's doing the same thing that worked last time. There's very little you can do to make it happen so the temptation beckons . . .
I admit I spent decades of my life not being able to orgasm until one day (it was March 3rd 19--) it built - and spilled! Hooray! (Funny, I'd just been in the AOL Submissives' Room for the first time the previous night . . .) I became an avid practitioner, honing my technique with batteries, plugs and clamps. Now the orgasms I can give myself are truly wonderful. I can control the build up deliciously, the spasm comes and I swear, if I don't remove the stimulus from my clit, my clit stays switched ON until I'm sick of pleasure. I say all this not to boast but to reassure anyone out there reading this that if you practise on yourself, get vibrating, give yourself the bondage, gagging and pain you need, enter the mindset with stories pictures, fantasies, you're bound be achieve that elusive O sometime. Don't despair, relax and enjoy in your own time.
But I also have to admit that the orgasms my Master gives me by his own hand are not so overwhelming. I don't see how they can be since I'm not the one doing the manipulation, fine-controlling my responses. But my mind is excited, my body is ready, my cunt is wet and I get a similar 'on' feeling but usually without that spasm. That's the bit I admit I fake. There, I feel better for telling you.