Quote Originally Posted by gagged_Louise View Post
I get what you mean gloombunny, but isn't this about having the choice how one wants to shape one's femaleness too? Someone who is physically born (biology) and raised (social mores and codes) a woman has, in some ways, more of a choice how to "be female" - and that's not just equal to being tender, caring, graceful and nurturing - because she has a firm foundation: no one can take away her female body and her knowledge of 'living in a women's realm' and feeling natural with it. But to others who identify strongly with some kind of female attitudes and qualities, or could see themselves being in a girl's position sexually - we both do that, though in different ways - this is not a foundation we were born with, a learning process is involved, and getting to be an in-the-flesh female may seem the ground needed to get there - and also, in order to get other people to accept this side of you on an everyday basis. Without having to explain "I'm not a freak or a cracked actor, this is me". You're absolutely right that trans behaviour and transgender reality is a very multi-faceted phenomenon.
Honestly? Nah. If a trans woman feels confident enough in her femaleness, and it can take a while for that to be the case, she can act just as non-feminine as any cis woman. Worst case scenario, she runs a higher risk of being "read" as male, but ultimately... to me, at least, I feel that it's worth that downside if that's what it takes to act like myself instead of trying to mold myself to some ideal I don't subscribe to.