How do you "look" for a Dom?

[Ragoczy]

I've had some not so good experiences on Alt. Lots and lots of trolls! LOL Perhaps I'll try it out again now that I have a clearer perspective...

So here's the thing -- the internet makes everything more-so. Including the unpleasant aspects of dating.

My experience on Alt ended wonderfully and had some other good points, but it couldn't be described as easy or fun overall. I probably sent ten to twenty messages a day to new profiles in the area I was willing to travel within. Of those, maybe one in fifty would result in a reply. Of those, most didn't go past a few messages before we discovered incompatibilities.

In my last year on Alt, call it 3000 outgoing messages, I met less than twenty people for dinner or lunch (one of whom was a guy who'd pretended to be female online -- he showed up for lunch ... he was a little weird). Of those, I think five moved on to play-dates (I was looking for casual partners, at the time). Of the five, I played with three more than once -- 0.01% of the initial contacts.

But of those three, I've been with one for almost eight years now -- and that makes up for a hell of a lot.

In fact, I had actually decided to give up on Alt for a while and take a break because the searching was grinding me down. I canceled my account ... but the cancellation didn't take and they charged my card anyway, so rather than argue with them, I simply canceled again and made use of the extra time ... that's when I met my kitten. It's pretty scary to me that if Alt'd canceled my account when I asked them to, I'd never have met her.

For a submissive female, the numbers would probably be reversed ... for thousands of people contacting you, you might find a handful that'll be worth doing anything with. Frustrating ... but how much effort is that one worth?

It's hard, it takes time, it's frustrating, it's infuriating, even ... but if you find someone, it's worth it.

[leah06]

Oh my God, who has the time?

[SnickerKitten]

Interestingly enough, I put up one post on ALT describing myself and stating very clearly what I was looking for. Ragoczy was the first response (20 minutes after I posted!) of many. I responded to him and sent a polite response to the next several Doms that sent me messages telling them that I was talking to someone that had responded earlier than them and would get back to them if it didn't work out.

Well, here we are almost 8 years later and I haven't finished evaluating my fit with Rago yet

On prior sites, I kept running into the guys that just wanted easy sex on their schedule, or neverending blowjobs. I didn't end up playing with any of them, but I did end up with a vanilla playmate or two along the way

-kitten

[Oak]

I understand your and the others frustrations, as it never is easy to find a partner. I can assure you that it isn't exactly easy, probably even more difficult, for a male dom to find a female sub... Even in clubs it's difficult, as there goes 100 males, at least, to each female.
So you just have too keep on looking and see if there are any clubs or events in your area.
You also be be lucky with "vanilla" guys, by being honest with them. I've got some quite good experiences with "vanilla" girls, by letting them know that I'm a dom from the very start. Some do of course leave right away, others might want to give it a try and then some leaves. But some really like it!!! Just look at the posted pics of sub zero