A porn star? A PORN STAR??? No, no way i'm gonna be a porn star. She can't post that move on the internet, for every sleazy scumbag to watch. And probably not only watch, but masturbate watching it too.
Yuck. Yuck! YUCK!
I feel degraded and humiliated and used by the mere thought. What if somebody sees me who knows who i am?
„No Mistress, please do not put them on the net, i beg you.“
„Why not? You've been beautiful, you were great, you should be proud of your performance.“
„But... but, people might know me. I mean, some might recognize me.“
„Of course, that's possible. As a matter of fact, that would be great, if some recognized you and said so on this sites. Makes it more realistic, you know.“ She looks at me with a smile and i see she's dead serious, she really means what she's saying.
„Besides, whether the movie and the pics will be posted is entirely our decision. You are not asked about your opinion.“
„I see“ i mutter, my head bowed, tears welling up. I'm being fucked by Mistress and Jon. Fucked, abused and exploited. She pulls me up unto the couch where i bury my face between her breasts. I'm sobbing silently, my body is shaking. Charon caresses my head, holding my tight.
She's whispering softly. „I know you liked doing that movie, or at least most of it. And you really should be proud of it. You are beautiful, sexy, adorable, obedient, eager to please. In short, you're a perfect slave. Be proud of that. Be proud of showing what a good slave you are. And let others share your pleasure.“
She kisses me on the head. „And you know, that's you in that movie. That's not somebody else, it was inside you all the time. I just opened the door to that part of you and let it out, but it was not me who made you a slave. Leave that shell that has hold you for much too long. And be proud of yourself. Just like I am proud of you too.“
I need to think but can't, it's all confusion in my head. I'm disgusted and shocked and ashamed, yet at the same time i feel that she is right. I need to think it all over, get to terms with it.
„Mistress, may i ask you for a favour? Please tie me to the bed and give me some time to think about all that.“
She chuckles. „If you want to be tied up to be able to think, then maybe that's already the answer to most of your questions.“ Now i have to smile too. She's probably right. „But I'm the last to deny you being tied up.“
We go to the bedroom, where she orders me to get naked and place cuffs on my ankles and wrists. She takes some kind of iron bar out of the closet, with rings on each end and locks the ankle cuffs to it. Next she cuffs my wrists to the bar too, behind my back, forcing me to arch my back and then she hogties me. Next she places a collar on my neck, attaches a leash to a ring in the front, then between my legs and to the collar again on my neck. She neatly places the leash between my labia and pulls it very tight. The final step is a blindfold and earmuffs. „Just to make sure you're not distracted in your thinking. I don't gag you so you can call me if something's wrong.“
Then i'm alone. After a while my mind gets clear and i can really think about it all. It's funny, how free i feel when in fact i'm tied and can't move an inch. I'm able to put out all my feelings, thoughts, anxieties and worries. It's like drawing a mind map. And i can also analyse most of what i see and i guess she's right; Zoe the slut has always been there but has been locked away. I remember how i enjoyed giving my boyfriends blowjobs, kneeling in front of them. I also realize that i obey Charons' commands not only because i want to please her, but simply because i want to obey her. It feels right, to follow each of her commands It's that easy. I love to obey her, to please her. I love to be her slave. I'm a slave.

I don't know how long she leaves me to myself, it must have been quite long, because my growling stomach reminds me that even as a slave there are some basic needs that need to be met. But before i can call her, i hear her entering the bedroom and sit on the bed beside me, taking off the earmuffs.
„Did you have enough time to think, slave?“
„Yes, Mistress. Thank you.“
„Fine. I ordered something to eat. Until it's delivered, I'll use you as my fucktoy.“
„Yes, Mistress. Thank you for using me.“ Saying that feels right. Finally it feels right to be her fucktoy. Because that's what i am: Her fucktoy, her slave, her pet, her servant ... i am anything and everything she wants me to be.