How much control do i give up? On one hand i trust someone with my life every time i get tied up, on the other i don't trust Him to drive the "right way" to our munches. (i'm alittle ocd and that story is funny for a later time). Trust for me comes in different levels, and i have to admit i don't trust as deeply as i would like to with anyone. (but that level of trust is slightly different then kinky/giving up control.)

To me trust and giving up control go hand and hand. If i cant trust them how can i give up control and let go, who will catch me when i come down? i'm a submissive not a slave, so i can't help as much. i have given up my pass word once to someone and i will agree that is hard. But i doubt unless i lived with someone and He had a collar on me that i would give it up again.

About safewords, i play with a guy. . .we have played for going on (chit i lost count) say 1-2 months. He is still learning me/my reactions to Him/play. i know His red/yellow workings of the safe word. i've had to use it once and i don't feel that it's a bad thing for communication. Now more often i tell Him when i feel something wrong and He adjusts it and just continues.

If you are with someone, owned/collared/ect the safe word sorta fades a bit, after all They're your Dom/Master, your body is theirs they should know it well enough.

i'm alittle fuzzy here, cause you make it sound like "once your collared you jump off and toss away all your limits and self to be at His bidding and serve Him". i dont really think there's much of a difference, for me anyway. i'm not going to get collared by anyone who during the time we are together we have our limits and personal life working together and running well but the second He collars me He'll do a 180 and change everything up. i view it like dating/getting married. You get to know the person, they know you and as soon as you get married your sure as shit not going to be able to change who they were/what your personal goals/likes/ectectect.

*yawns* sorry i don't really think i helped that much. . .like i mentioned, i'm just a submissive.

~j~