Hmmm.

OK, a couple of things right off the bat; even though you might be in a D/s dynamic, this does not mean that your wants or needs should be neglected. So if you are wanting more from this, you most certainly have that right. Unrequited love- or infatuation, however you wish to call it- is never fun. Winding up in a situation where you are giving your all and getting nothing in return is not the ideal; ultimately, it is still a relationship (yes, that dreaded word) between two people; as such, it should always be addressed on that level.

Secondly, your idea and his of a "relationship" may conflict... or they may not. It could be well worth it to have that discussion; you may both be on the same page as to where you want things to lead. Even if you are not, it will save you a great deal of heartache in the long run.

Finally, what exactly is it about discussing scenes or the like that causes him to close down?

Is it that a sub is bringing the topic up? Personally, I do not understand the mentality that sometimes crops up where dominants refuse to take into consideration what their partner does or does not enjoy; to me, this seems to be a recipe for disaster. Particularly in the case of someone who is just starting out; hopefully, this is not the case, and if he is as experienced as it sounds, should not be.

Is it that he thinks you are trying to turn the conversation towards the relationship and where it is leading? (See above.)

Or is it, as I suspect, something else entirely? The possibilities are really endless. To me it sounds like there is a certain level of communication difficulties going on here; the two of you may just be talking at cross purposes.

The best advice I can really give is to sit down and have a really good talk about it As long as you both know where you stand, the rest will fall into place readily enough.

Hang tough; hope that helps.