I am an author not a practitioner so my point of view may not carry as much weight as those of you with actual experience. I comment because fir I am impressed at the level of intelligence on this site. I post elsewhere, where the mainstream folks sound hateful, spiteful and generally egotistical. So I find it interesting that a interest in BDSM attracts such high IQ's (not that it shouldn't as you must truly understand yourself to choose this lifetstyle) But much like my multi-chapter stories, I digress.

I think that the word "power" is immaterial. All "power" is based on coersion and compliance of some form (psych 101) and therefore fleeting. Every creature has a point at which they "break" and power over them is only the ability to destroy or release (earlier experiments in psychology proved this). I think more important however, is that it is not about power, but dominance and submission. Does a sub have power? of course not. But nor do they seek such or they would be a dominant. What about 'safe words'? These aren't power, they are a request. But can't a sub decide not to engage or to leave? Not if they are a real sub and that would be "flight" not "fight" so its really not power its avoidance. So I submit that if your lifestyle is one of "role playing" BDSM then it is a "game", games have rules and power is equally divided and at one level it is not truly dominant/submissive because there are in fact rules. If your lifestyle is truly dominant/submissive then the engagement is determined by the dominant and the submissive has no power except that which is granted - which is not power at all. Hey but what do I know - I just really liked the intelligent conversation.