I was abused when I was a child, and when I was adopted by my abuser's father, he was disowned by my father when he learned of the abuse... I am now waiting for him to get out of jail AGAIN on unrelated charges so I can make sure I have a restraining order as soon as he is released to keep him away from me and my children and husband.

I also had a boyfriend years ago (one of my first partners, I haven't had a lot of them, and every single one of them was military) who was into kink while I was still very new to being in sexual relationships and he very effectively controlled me without me even realizing until just this moment what he was doing. And he did not take my sexual desires or limits into consideration, if he enjoyed it, he did it and expected me to enjoy it, too, even if it was something I did NOT want to do (thank god he was hung like a pencil or the anal sex he did to me without any warning would have been more painful than it was).

I can't say that my abuse has had any effect on my submissive personality, but it has effected how I respond to my limits being pushed. My husband is careful in how he pushes me to make sure he doesn't trigger my self-protection instincts to come into play. He is still learning to be a Dom, but while he pushes hard right now, he only pushes on stuff that I have already said I want to do at some point, or stuff that he really wants and is trying to get me comfortable with it. But the second I say no when we are doing something, he stops immeadiately with no negative feedback about.