Quote Originally Posted by thir View Post
As for this forum, it is by no means only used by people who have a troubled bdsm life.
Oh of course not! I didn't mean to imply that at all - whoops!

This is not just about problems, but about THTWD in general and much more besides.
What is THTWD?

I do not see why someone who was looking for a partner should not be happy to retreat to the domestic scene if one was found. Anyway, there is no harm in looking.
A very valid point, it's just they're such different things. Playing in public/being in public is something you'd be doing because you enjoyed doing it. Why would you give that up if it gave you pleasure? It seems to me a bit like you'd be giving up a bit of your life, a major hobby or something - finding a partner and 'retreating' doesn't seem to compliment the former activities in any way?

Quote Originally Posted by denuseri View Post
People use third parties for vanila encounters too...so I dont see why whoever it is needs to know that your going to get kinky per say.
True. So if I'm going to a BDSM club night, for example, bearing in mind I'd also be travelling to and from the club alone, what could I tell a friend? It would seem weird to say "I'm going to a club by myself" and would also then provoke the question "oh can I come?" I guess I could make out it's catered for a particular interest that wouldn't suit them, but I'm not really sure how to go about saying that without explaining further...