Therapists aren't really an option for me. Money issues aside, all of the community therapists I can find are attatched to religious organizations in my city (I'm a Pagan and I've been turned away by all of them). My boyfriend is a huge help, but I feel like I can't really open up to him everytime I want to because no one likes a never-ceasing sob story. He's actually the one who was showed me this forum: even while he was reading thread titles to me I was twitching out of my skin. It's hard for him because all he wants to do is make sure I'm ok and happy, but it's not always possible for me to explain things to him. How do you explain to someone who would never really hurt another human that you're terrified of saying what happened because it's been tortured into you that your pain means nothing?