I don't actually disagree with you Skittish Doe! (And of course I will accept all of the hugs I can get!) I mentioned above that I felt like this might be the biggest test of my willingness to submit to Him. I told Him in the letter that I wrote to Him that I would accept whatever choice He made and be whatever He wanted me to be within our relationship. I'm struggling, of course, but I'm working my absolute hardest to make Him proud of me, even if it's only because I am submitting to His desire for a vanilla relationship. Thank you for your thoughts- I truly appreciate them!