My views on trust are a bit different that what I've heard most people express. I do not believe trust can be earned. There is nothing another person can do to guarantee your trust will not be betrayed, not 100%. At some point, you must make a choice to trust. Once you make that choice, then your trust can be validated. Once validated the next choice to trust is easier, because your judgement has been proven correct, once. Each time adds to your confidence in your judgement to trust that person, but each time you trust, it remains a choice. When that choice to trust is betrayed, it is as much the fact that our judgement was wrong as it was that trust was betrayed that causes the pain. Now you question your own ability to make wise choices, as well as the ability of your partner to do as they say.
It comes down to the fact that if you want to trust bad enough, you will. You can do all the due diligence in the world and still be wrong, so you must at some point simply choose to trust, not not. There is no part way.
For many I believe becoming a switch is simply a defense mechanism, as was alluded to in an earlier post. A way to maintain some control in order to try to prevent being hurt. In many ways, I view this concept of limit lists the same way. I think I'll post my thoughts on that in another thread.
Does anyone else see trust this way, or am I in the minority again? Smiles
-D