Quote Originally Posted by ickleimi View Post
I think alot of the online is as a result of things like 50 shades. There are people who want to experience it and be part of it but aren't really committed. Online they can hide behind the facade. As someone who is more into the physicals of BDSM and is both a masochist and a submissive, I fail to see what it brings that normal cyber sex does not, other then adding some elements of a fetish into it. Having said that I do enjoy a good BDSM novel, but partially because it gives me ideas of things me and my Sir can try!
No doubt books like 50 shades and the like have increased awareness of the lifestyle in general and stimulated curiosity about exploring it for some. Yet I don't think that a lack of commitment is the only reason some choose to explore online. For some it can be a fairly radical departure from the way they had been living and that can be a bit scary. Many live in locations where there is no viable lifestyle community to participate in. I do suspect that the anonymity of online is a draw for some but I'd suggest it is because it makes it all less intimidating for a novice. To be fair you really don't know at the outset what you are getting when you meet someone online so it wouldn't really be prudent to disclose all of your personal information straight away. The online relationship I had began that way but after my partner and I became acquainted and trust was established we dropped the pseudonyms and anonymity. We now know each other just as well as we know any of our rl friends.

In my view, when online interaction is primarily role playing then I think you make a valid point about it being little different from normal cyber sex with a little fetish thrown in. I don't make any judgments about that and I think it is great that is enough to satisfy some people. But just as there are very real vanilla distance relationships, based on my own one online experience from the recent past, I have no doubt that an online D/s relationship can be very real too. The curious thing for me is I was once very skeptical of online BDSM and actually a bit snobbish about it. To be sure online can simply be a fanciful erotically-charged diversion but I've since come to believe it can also be quite authentic.

My positive experience from the recent past causes me to believe I'd like experiencing that again but only in a relational sense. Role playing is great for those who seek only that kind of interaction but it just isn't something I personally find appealing. Such would certainly not be equivalent to the relational experience I had.