Hello all, for those of you who do not know me, my name is Azrael. There isn't much to know about me, except for what needs to be said for the answers I am seeking. I have been a dom for seven years now, and have practiced the lifestyle with a good hand full of subs. All my encounters however have always seemed to end in failure, almost as they were doomed from the get go. I have always known the reason was a large form of miscommunication, and no matter how many times I have attempted to fix the mistake... it seems it never pulls through. Several months ago I came out of a three year break from the lifestyle, one I took for these very reasons, to take on a sub who I found worthy enough to come back for. It lasted for a few months, a few very glorious months. Yet like all the other d/s relationships it failed once again. The two of us remained close friends, but there was one problem. I still can not get over wanting to own her. In my own opinion I am frightful that this wanting and craving is going to drive a even further gap between us. Now I find myself just wishing to hang up the whip and forget the entire thing. Has any one felt this way before? If so how did you handle it? I know my dominance will always be a part of me, but I just have this sinking feeling that it's time to retire from it. There are so many mixed agendas between the two of us now, and although there is a strong will on my end, there seems to be none on her's.

I suppose in all I am looking for advice, from those of you who have done this a lot longer then I. I ask you please... share your knowledge with me.. perhaps aid my decision in all this.


Azrael