hi all,

So I've been in a wonderful relationship for the last year and a half with a woman I love very much and it's great but.... it's completely vanilla. Our sex is great but it's not all it could be. Part of me feels I should be satisfied with what I have, it's never been better. Part of me thinks this will fail because I'm not getting what I want (need?) in bed. And other places too like the floor, the chair, the kitchen...

I've tried dropping hints about some light bondage with mixed results, and I tried a stronger hint when I bought some fun hand/ankle ties and a "bedroom game" with lots of naughty suggestions. She seemed into it in the heat of the moment but has never initiated this type of play since.

I know ya'll will say "JUST TELL HER!" but it's not easy. I'm afraid that my real desires (D/s, bondage, pain, fisting, etc) are way too out there for her and that she would be freaked out. I really don't want to screw this up, it's the best relationship I've had. I feel guilty, not because I'm a pervert--I'm totally ok with that, but because I'm hiding this side of myself from her. Especially since we have such a great connection and are very open with each other. We don't even really fight.. which kind of sucks cause we're missing out on some great make-up sex.

Anyone else relate? have similar experience? thoughts?

--open