This all seems very serious, but I can't see where else to post my filks, and people might enjoy something silly for a change. If you don't appreciate parody, read no further...
Livin' Toy (to the tune of Cliff Richard's "Livin' Doll")
Got myself a cryin', crawlin', bleedin', bawlin' livin' toy.
Got the right to hurt and tease her just 'cause she's a livin' toy.
I can make her cry, and that is why she satisfies this boy,
Got the one and only crawlin' bawlin' livin' toy.
Take a look at those welts - they're sore,
If you don't believe it I'll add some more.
Gonna chain her up with a lock so no big jock can steal her away from me:
(repeat first verse)