I've been dating a guy for a couple months now who's a Dom. From the conversations we've had, every relationship he's been in has been this way, and I'm the first girl he's ever dated who hasn't already been Submissive.

To give some background, all of the relationships I've had have been fairly run-of-the mill, and honestly, kind of boring. I was with the same guy for a very long time and I knew what he liked, and stuck with that. When I tried to step out of that and experiment (for example, I tried to get him to hold me down, or use some sort of bondage, etc.), he wasn't interested.

I've had conversations with my new boyfriend, but I think an outside opinion would be more helpful at this point. Most of the conversations I have with him end with him saying he can live without it ('it' being BDSM in general, or whatever thing in particular I get hung up on). One, I'm not sure I believe him, and two, I don't want to be in a relationship where the person I'm with isn't fulfilled. I've told him that I'm willing to experiment and we've agreed that I should try things at least twice before discounting them, and he says he'll be patient and take things one step at a time.

So my questions are,

1. How do I define/push my boundaries without things going too far? How do I let him know if things have gone too far? (For example, he says there will be times that I will probably end up crying but that that's just part of pushing my boundaries and I'm not sure how to feel about that.)

2. If there are things I think I will never like, and think will hurt me (more than I think I can handle - on an emotional level, more than physical), should I still agree to try them, or is it ok to not be ready, or not ever be ready, for certain things?

3. How do I get over that feeling of shame for things that I do enjoy, but feel like I shouldn't? Do other people struggle with this?

4. Does it get easier to be called names, or even to be called 'good girl'? He called me a slut while we were together and it bothered me. I am more okay with being called specifically his slut, but I usually just end up feeling like I'm doing something I shouldn't be, and the cycle of shame repeats. On the flip side, the first time he called me 'good girl', I got upset by it, but the more he says it, the less it bothers me.

5. Does anyone have any advice in general as I feel like I'm overreacting and over thinking things? My fear is that I won't be able to find a balance with how far I can go and be comfortable, and have him still be happy.