Unfortunately, porn tends to cater to the extreme ends and a lot of it is fantasy based. I suspect what you want is a site where real people discuss their lives in kink? In that case, I think this one is the best I have found. Others (like fetlfe) are great as well, though seem more geared to a wider (and so less discerning) audience and heavily personal ad based.

There are some milder porn sites out there, though. I suggest you look for 'bedroom bondage' which is a site I know was out there a few years ago (no idea if it is stil active). This site was mainly M/f and mostly involved photos of models either fully clothed or in lingerie tied up with rope and using cloth gags. Not much extremity there and was mainly good for looking at tying methods.