Hi all,

I'm currently 41 yrs old. My "history" has been off-and-on, with only two real partners before my current lover/slave, min lilla.

My first lover who took me beyond vanilla sex was an Okinawan woman I met while stationed there in my early twenties. She owned a coffeehouse that I frequented and was in her mid-forties. We continued our relationship for about two years.

Mariko's "style" was unlike anything I've encountered in the West. There was somewhat of a D/s flavor to our play, but the true focus was on using pain and other intense sensory stimulation to enhance the sexual experience. She introduced and trained me in Shibari, Tantric lovemaking, and stimulation of pressure points using Shiatsu techniques, as well as the more familiar Western BDSM practices.

Western BDSM, on the other hand, seems to have much more of a focus on psychological Dominance and submission roleplay. I'm not judging, mind you, just pointing out the difference in focus (and perhaps goals, as well). I'll confess, however, that this is why I've not spent much time BDSM community over the years, just jumping in and out of the pool as it suits me.

While min lilla is most definitely my slave, she chose me because, like her, I'm not much interested in playing out scenes of humiliation and objectification - what I call "dungeon play". Again, NOT JUDGING.

I sometimes think of her as my apprentice in wickedness; but an apprentice in the manner of the Medieval guilds: as long as she is under my tutelage, I have complete and utter control of her life. That said, it's also my obligation to ensure her health, well-being, and overall education and development.

Would anyone out there like to explore this topic? I'd also like to know if anyone else has incorporated Tantra and Shiatsu techniques in their BDSM play.

Looking forward to hearing from all of you!