I feel about 10 years old for even having to make a thread to ask this, but always better safe than sorry I guess...

I've never involved myself in the real-life BDSM scene at all but think it's now something I need to do to know whether it's the right path for me to take or not. If you've read other posts by me over the last few days you will realise that I became involved with BDSM with my ex-boyfriend (he was new to it too) and it was a really personal thing that we explored privately together and that stayed in the bedroom. I want to try to find that in a relationship again - where BDSM is just in the bedroom and is a personal aspect of our lives - however the predicament is that the very process of finding someone into BDSM (at a munch, night event etc.) surely contradicts the personal aspect? I have been told that to enter into a vanilla relationship and try to introduce BDSM into it thereafter is a very unwise idea and unlikely to work, so I'm trying to source out alternatives here.

Anyway, I think I'm going to go ahead and enter the scene to find out whether it could work that way or not, but the 'problem' is how do I do it safely? I don't want to tell any of my friends about my BDSM interests but have nobody already involved in that lifestyle who could accompany me, so I'd be going alone. There's an event I've found out about from FetLife which takes place in a few weeks, it's at night, and I don't know how to make sure I'm safe if I'm going alone and nobody know's where or why I'm going?

Do I need to tell a friend or is there an easier way? Thanks in advance!!

Also - does anybody happen to know the word for a munch in Spanish?!