OK, probably more than you care to know, but here goes. I'm recently divorced from a pretty crappy sexless marriage. I was a huge part of the problem in that I had zero attraction to my ex. I'm a very very dominant person in my daily life. I'm pretty type A. This spilled over into the bedroom and I was not easily aroused by my partner's inferiority (just how I viewed it).

Now that I'm back out and exploring my sexuality I'm finding that I really really dig a man that is take control and dominant. In fact, I think about it all the time. This seems like such a contradiction to my character that I didn't even think it's how I felt until a partner pointed out to me that I am definitely a sub.

My question is, how common is it for a person to live a dom daily lifestyle but a sub lifestyle in the bedroom? And, what steps should I take to further explore this? I'm pretty sure I'm not into the pain aspect, mostly the control.

Thanks!