Like Denuseri has (very well) expressed it, this is a two way street.

Limits should be established (even if likely to evolve over the time of a relationship) so that both agree to them. You also mentionned that guys, dom or not, didn't like the thought of you masturbating, which reminds me of how certain men believe that this is a personal attack to them that a girl can take her pleasure in her own hands.

Well, beside if orgasm control is part of your consensual limits, masturbation is a very good (and useful) experience for someone, including a woman. Such a topic/issue should be discussed with your partner, and if he doesn't want to hear about it, well dominant or not, I'd think that it's highly a problem for the relationship overall.

Communication is primordial and a good dom(me) must be able to talk about what is going on with their sub.