Thank you for this post, tarajane.
Already some wonderful advice, which i've taken on board also *smiles*. I have had a similar experience. For me, it's taken time, love, guidance and patience on both sides...and a huge dose of communication, and i'm still a work in progress, i might add. Writing helps me focus my feelings into a coherent fashion (most of the time) and from there my Sir and i can delve deeper. By no means am i the perfect sub, and probably never will be, but striving to break down those walls, so to speak, is rewarding and makes my Sir proud. Your personal struggle should make your submission all the more valuable and cherished by the one you gift it to.
All the best xx