I've gotten writers block

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/stories/s...p?storyid=8568

Yes, I know that the grammar/punctuation may need some sharpening.

I am more interested in whether this story is worth rewriting from the ground up and continuing. What is good about it, etc.

I generally like to feed off other people's ideas and mesh them with my own. Constructive feedback appreciated.

I realize two things/anticipate two suggestions;

I introduced a younger character into the story which raises people hackles. My intention there was to actually have a reason to show a little more discrestion around them, add some tension.
If I were to rewrite I would probably take this person out.

Some of the fetishes/descriptions are not everyone's cup of tea. I make no apologies for that. I went with what felt organic to the situation and was raw/gritty.