So, I have very feisty personality. I'm very strong willed and tend to show high amounts of independence in everything. This adds a struggle of stepping into the slave role at the drop of a dime.

My Master has came up with the idea that the day before I step into scarlet's shoes for a play session, I am to mentally take on my slave role. Our conversations include "Yes, Master" and my actions are to be of a well mannered slave.

I started at 8:00 this morning as a slave. And I know that it will take me all day to fully adapt to being in that role. I've already been called a brat this morning!

I know that he throws me into scarlet mode the day before a session to ensure that during the session I have worked out all my rebellion. I just get so damn frustrated. I've heard so many people say that their submission comes naturally. I know I'm a sub. I know this. When I'm in that role I perform very well and tend to not rebel at all. Ugh!

I wish it didn't take me so long to become scarlet. I only want to make him proud of me and my personalities are clashing something fierce.

I am kind of just venting here... I had to kind of just work through that thought process.