Hi everyone,
I'm feeling very conflicted right now, and wondered if other subs experienced this when they first set out on their journey?
In my life I am very independent and also very avoidant of intimate relationships. Part of me yearns to find a partner who is strong enough, mentally and emotionally to hold me in a safe place and for that person I would want to please. I feel so good when I am pleasing others.
But the other part of me can't imagine a life in which I am not able to grow, not able to make my own choices and where I need to be 100% dependent on another.
I have an attachment disorder and it feels like this makes it hard for me to fully embrace being a sub. Trust is paramount in a D/s relationship and I question, can someone who is so fearful of trusting still explore their submissivness?
I don't want to be seen as wasting anyone's time, and I freely admit I am unsure what I want, so I imagine this is not helpful to potential dominants.
Does being a sub mean you cannot still be a person with your own rights and choices, and is attachment just another resistance to overcome?
Any thoughts would be appreciated :-)
Thank you