Carstien's second assignment

[lil ashley]

This might have made me want to read on.... under the "show me don't tell me theory" just a suggestion...
Victor knew he was a damn good magician but with each show the ratio of empty seats to patrons was growing. And not in his favor. Growing too was the frustration of his assistant as she stormed off after he chastized her over a simple misplacement of a cane intrigal to his performance. Damn the girl anyway.
He needed new magic and tossed back a few shots of bad whiskey in the locale of his latest disaster, an off the grid bar in Manchester.

[lil ashley]

i'd rewrite the opening this way...

Victor knew he was a damn good magician but with each show the ratio of empty seats to patrons was growing and not in his favor. Growing too was the frustration of his assistant as she stormed off after he chastized her over a simple misplacement of a cane intrigal to his performance. Damn the girl anyway. He needed new magic and tossed back a few shots of bad whiskey at the bar in an off the grid bar in Manchester of his latest disaster.

[Venom]

lil ashley, I saw your old assignment. Alas your answer for it never has been commented by the former instructor (for obvious reasons). I am wondering whether you want to continue or restart here at the Block.

[lil ashley]

Venom, thank you. I've been thinking of an entirely different story and would like a chance to have it examined for concept, content and corrections. Thanks. - ash

[Venom]

If your story is already written or in an advanced state of development, post it into the Review-section. I'll find it there.

V.

[Lagomorph]

Wow...I just saw this, lol. I actually have more chapters...~laughs~ Venom, sorry for the long break, new sub, done a lot of writing though. Is Leo's old assignment still available for me to catch up on?

[Venom]

Well, you have to ask him about that.

[lil ashley]

Venom, thanks, am working on it... been looking and I know the site is experiencing some issues but haven't found a "review" section. Or is it I should post it here as "review"? Sorry if i'm just blind. thanks. -ash

[lil ashley]

disregard last post. i knew the i'd find it after i asked about it.. sorry - ash