Hi captive_colgada,
You're very lucky to have found the best of both worlds first of all. I'm very similar to you in that I like a vanilla relationship and a BDSM sex life. Finding a Dom who appreciates that is a trick and a half! For me the big issues are food and money, I'm high raw vegan so I can't have someone put a plate of carcasses in front of me and expect I won't run for the door and I'm not willing to pay someone's bills either. I like partnership in most areas.
I had the experience of introducing someone hoping it would work out and it wasn't long before the lifestyle control was out of control and the kinky sex was out the window. Poof!
In short what I'm saying, though it isn't my place to do so, is be patient and exuberant in your service. He may come to crave this as much as you do. A good man is a good man, it sounds like he's doing his best to grow for and with you so hang in there.
I hope others will be able to offer you more insight. I wanted to show my support though, I'm trying to be more active and supportive. I'm fairly new here(:
Alice