Hi there,

Been on this website for a while now and often find myself wanting to post something but never really convincing myself to do so.

I find myself somewhat lost and confused by certain elements of my personality. There is a large part of me that feel attracted to humiliation with a deeper sadistic side - which until recently i wasnt really certain actually exists. Now i know it is there.

To add to my confusion I know that there are certain times where I switch into something completely different where I become rather masochistic... not so much that I am submissive but really masochistic.

I shy away from personal contacts due to this because I am afraid people wont be able to accept this part of me

I am not entirely certain what I expect to achieve from this post. But I guess this is my attempt to put it out there that I am not vanilla.... I have no idea what I am. I have no idea what to do... But its good to put it out there to people who might be able to advise me...