You don't want an online mentor, at least not a single one or anyone through a private channel. Post questions in open forum (keep them as redacted as you want/need to protect your and your wife's dignity). Also, read a few books. "The Topping Book" and "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns" are both pretty well regarded and might give you and your wife a common touchpoint for discussion and exploration.

You should also look for events in your local area to try to attend. There are events called "munches" that are (in most places) pretty laid back events at restaurants or bars with a bunch of people dressed normally and having a meal and socializing, without much pressure or forcing you to dive into the deep end.