Long Distance Subbie

[panthera]

After a conversation with a Dom friend, it got me thinking, so now I'm curious. Anyone in a LD or Online relationship, does your Dom/me ask for proof that you have completed tasks and such? Like photos of you kneeling or whatnot?

[IAN 2411]

I think you should be very careful what you send anyone. Photos could come back to haunt you when you least expect it. By the way you are talking you sound as though you are in a LD or on line relationship. If you are then remember this, you have no idea what your Dom is like in real life. You don't want your friends seeing you plastered all over the internet in an embarrassing position. One other thing, if he cannot trust you to be carrying out the tasks, why is he bothering to give you them?

Be well Ian

[sub_sequent]

It does sometimes happen but I agree with IAN2411 that you should be very careful. Anyone putting pressure on you to send pictures of your body should be distrusted. If you have gotten to know this person and you feel that you would like to send pictures, there is some things you can do to make it slightly safer, but it is still a risk.

* NEVER, EVER, EVER, ever send a picture of your face and any naked body part.
* Photoshop out any distinguishing marks that you might have on the photographed body part.

Something people often don't think of is that the email address they use(also to send pictures), often is their vanilla email address. It is a small step from your real name to Facebook to knowing much more about you than you feel comfortable with.

[hoosakitty]

Very good point, vicki...its always been a policy of mine to use an alternate email, with no link to my real name. And, as you said, never have your face in any nude pic. Even if you trust this person now, a bad break-up can end in your personal info and pics being misused.

I think, however, that some people enjoy the idea of "proof" simply for kink's sake. I occasionally ask my sub to take pics of himself during play, not for the sake of proof, but for mutual enjoyment (mostly his). But this is never pressured, and it is understood that he can refuse without reprimand. It can also be noted that my Dom has NEVER asked me for pics of any sort. If a Dom needs proof of obedience, it is obvious there is trust issues to begin with.

xxo

[shy_lovegirl[Quest10]]

I have to agree with others sending pictures with your face while being naked, it is not a good ideea.
On the other hand... my Owner after speaking to so many girls, he offered and asked for us to send cams, in order to confirm the pictures we sent, that we were what we said we were.
Of course it was a normal discussion, dressed both of us. The thing is we knew we wanted a real life thing, so getting to know eachother as real as posible was Very important.
I have has lots of naked pictures here on the site.But i have no naked picture with my face, or any picture of my profile.
So to end this long answer, it depends on what you 2 want,and how much you trust him, but i would still not send pictures like that.

shy

[shy_lovegirl[Quest10]]

I have to agree with others sending pictures with your face while being naked, it is not a good ideea.
On the other hand... my Owner after speaking to so many girls, he offered and asked for us to send cams, in order to confirm the pictures we sent, that we were what we said we were.
Of course it was a normal discussion, dressed both of us. The thing is we knew we wanted a real life thing, so getting to know eachother as real as posible was Very important.
I have has lots of naked pictures here on the site.But i have no naked picture with my face, or any picture of my profile.
So to end this long answer, it depends on what you 2 want,and how much you trust him, but i would still not send pictures like that.

shy

[fetishdj]

It can happen but it is not always necessary. As stated above, there are issues with photos so you have to be very careful about what you send to someone you do not trust.

There are other methods to 'prove' a task has been done. You could, for example, have someone write a detailed report on what they did. It is sometimes very difficult to properly describe sensations you have not experienced so if you ask for a detailed, emotional and descriptive report it is possible to sometimes spot faking. There is also audio and live webcam or live messenger chat.

None of these really 'prove' that you have done something as they are all (yes even photos) possible to fake. But they make the sub feel as if they are actually sharing with the Dom/me. it is not so much about proof but rather that feeling of kneeling in front of the Dom/me and telling them how you felt doing whatever it was you did.

It ultimately comes down to trust... do you actually trust that person with your information? BDSM should be about two things - communication and trust - and LD/Online relationships especially need both things to be present in excess.

[DarkGhost]

There has to be some level of trust before getting into pics and other stuff
yet its important to have a way to demonstrate that the task and orders
are being follow...

Time shall decide if the relationship its strong enough for that type of intimacy but without trust nothing will eve workout