Progression of D/s dynamic

[SubAngel5]

I find it interesting the differing degrees we all indulge in this world. I've had an experience recently that has left me very confused and would love some input or advice.

I was in communication with a Dom, someone whom I had great conversation and interest in. We live in the same city and met online. We seemed to have a lot in common, but the level of power exchange he required was too much for me initially. He insisted on micromanagement - I would not be able to do anything without permission and he would have to know where I was and what I was doing every moment of the day. He required I text him multiples times am hour to check in. He was also very into bladder control and would insist I call and leave him voicemails describing how badly I needed to go, and I would not be allowed until given permission. He loves seeing a girl squirm and would require I hold it until I would wet myself sometimes. I admit, I find all of that arousing to a degree... But I couldn't live up to what he wanted. This was mostly due to the fact that he insists on testing a sub to see if they can handle it prior to really giving the relationship much of a chance. If the sub fails in any way, all communication ends and they are cut out if his life, not even willing to maintain a friendship. He says he has wasted too much time with subs in the past, so he prefers to make it very difficult and extreme at first to test them. I explained I would be quite willing to try to submit to such a degree eventually once the relationship and trust developed, but he refused. He said he will not train a sub to obey, she is just expected to do so. He said if I changed my mind he would consider giving me another chance to try and meet his expectations.

I found the whole ordeal emotionally draining and confusing. It has made me question everything I think I want and I keep feeling like I made a mistake and I should apologize for the failure and try again. But I just don't know if I could do it, if I could pass his test. Perhaps I could submit to the degree he wanted eventually, but not right away - and that was not an option for him. He wanted a guarantee. I know I may have describe him as being very harsh, but he always seemed very kind and reasonable in many of our discussions, especially when describing what he hoped for long term. The only thing he seemed unreasonable about was this initial testing period he required.

How quickly do you form and develop the D/s dynamic with a new relationship? Do you test them to see if they fit your expectations?