My Dom and i met on the dance floor at a milonga. i was just starting out, but even then dancing with Him was breath-taking. Tango is just as full of passion, excitement, sensuality, and connection as the stereotypes make it out to be, but there's more to it than just that. It's the leader's job to guide the follower through the dance, not only in terms of direction/spacing (in which the follower has to have full faith in the leader that s/he won't crash him/her into anybody), but also in regards to which steps to take, how fast, how wide, or even whether or not to step at all. All of this is up to the leader to direct the follower- to transmit the thoughts and energy and momentum through the partner. At the same time, the follower does have a choice. If a leader tries to give a step s/he is not comfortable with or just doesn't like, it's fully within the follower's right to say no by not moving or by stepping somewhere else. However, typically that's not in the follower's best interest because while s/he's only looking at the steps as they're presented, the leader has often planned out a few steps ahead, and by not taking the direction given by the leader, the follower will probably miss out on something wonderful or purposeful the lead had in store. So the best dance will often be one in which the follower takes on a passive role and grants the leader control. That's not to say the follower has no voice. A follower has to support his/her own weight for the most part, leaning into the embrace just enough to create a mutually supportive connection. There's a strength in the follower's passive nature- s/he chooses to follow the lead given to him/her and contributes to the dance by communicating with her body. The follower brings energy, responsiveness, and the occasional embellishment of her own when the leader lets up for a moment to allow him/her to shine. Sometimes my Dom will take me into sub-space and then W/we'll just dance and it's the most remarkable experience. i'm not really sure where i'm going with this except to perhaps to simply point out the parallels between tango and BDSM that i find absolutely fascinating and to suggest that if Y/you ever get the chance, i highly recommend trying it with Y/your Dom(me)/sub sometime. Does anyone else have experience with tango (or any other activities that have similar parallels)?