Welcome to the site! Perfectly ok to let your freak flag fly here lol.

The forums contain a treasure trove of information on bdsm. You both may find it helpful to attend a fetish convention or "munch" in your local area. Additionally there are a number of staffed public access bdsm clubs such as 1763 in Atlanta, or the Woodshed near Orlando, or the Crucible in DC etc etc, where you can get hands on help. You can also find a number of non-fiction works on the subject. (Usually available via B&N bookstores or online)

Such as these few out of hundreds:

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction
by Jay Wiseman

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism
by Philip Miller

Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook
by Michael Makai

Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission
by Gloria G. Brame

Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes: A Step-by-Step, Illustrated Guide for Tying Sensual and Decorative Rope Bondage
by Two Knotty Boys

The Ethical Slut. A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities
by Dossie Easton

The Toybag Guide to Hot Wax and Temperature Play
by Spectrum

The Better Built Bondage Book: A Complete Guide to Building Your Own Sex Toys, Furniture and Bdsm Equipment
by Douglas Kent

Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and Bdsm Communities
by Lee Harrington

Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink: Educational, Sensual, and Entertaining Essays
by Midori


Good luck in your endeavors!