I haven't been doing this very long myself, but I have a wonderful Sir who has taught me a lot about the Lifestyle. The most important thing he has taught me, with this type of relationship or any, is HONESTY. If you can't be honest about your needs with the one you love, how can you keep a any type of relationship together. You say he has given you "playful" spankings in the past, be honest and tell him how you really want him to spank you. You might be pleasantly surprised when he complies...*grin*. I hope you find what you need and want, plus much happiness...*hug*.