How Do You Play Online?

[Sagacious]

I couldn't resist contributing to this discussion, chat play was my only outlet for so long that I have become half addicted *grins and points at user title*

for clarity I will split real-time, text-only, play into 2 camps, role-play and cybering:

Role play is where I am not myself, maybe I am younger, maybe an abductee or rape victim, maybe a space captain or a victorian scullery maid... this is a LOT of fun, yes it is pretend, but so is pornography, erotica, fantasies....
Cybering is where I am horny / needy for something and someone else feels the same / wants to play... this is often more sexual because pleasure is easier to induce in words, to evoke, than physical pain is.. but the dynamic can be very real and very present without the requirement for pain, it can be in the smallest things, the 'keep your hands on your head'..the rough physicality of taking and forcing, the thing that just the thought of it makes you feel Dominant or submissive... a hand on the throat, being pulled about by your hair, or just being used and thrown aside....

The powerful reactions you can get to erotica that really hits your buttons? Like that, but interactive, you are writing a story with someone that addresses both of your precise desires and wants... it is not clinical as 'i put my tongue on your clit / I say ooh i like that', not is it usually as flowery as your examples, (i am sure I would be able to get permission from the other person / people involved to send you an excerpt or two if you wanted a more concrete example, but of course that would only show how the subset of people i play with, play)....
there is a connection, you are writing to turn on your partner, and you are describing the way your mind and body reacts to the things they are writing to try and turn you on, I have orgasmed from nothing more than rubbing against the bed a little during very intense play.... I think it is something that comes out of the desire being so strong that it finds an outlet, if rt is not possible / practical at that time (or even, for some, it is such an enjoyable process that they will do it in addition to having a full time rt relationship)... the fact of the matter is that after it both people (or 'all the people' depending on what you are doing) feel good, feel satiated to a degree.. there is often even an element of aftercare, especially in more intense play, where a skilled Dom can add predicaments, sophie's choices and a well described enough 'x' that you feel the pain or fear (as mentioned, a harder sell than pleasure)...
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Role play can also refer to longer-form (not real-time) types of play, see the role play forum on here, where it becomes even closer to a 'choose your own adventure' erotica..

i think it depends on your definition of meaningful - - i have had plenty of 'one night stands' for chatting, where I do get my sub itch scratched and I do feel so delicious afterwards... also I have some regular partners who it only takes a few lines before my breathing changes and i am squirming on my chair...
the saying about your brain being your biggest sex organ? It's so true and if you let your mind take the lead, let your body feel the pleasure, oh my goodness *does a very wide smile*
I would guess that if the best erotica you have ever read made you feel the sensations described, made your body ready itself for sex and made you feel awesome at the body shaking - wet sliding - pumping clenching worlds best cum... then maybe you will enjoy online play, especially if you have a creative bent and a desire to please.
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I like just_ine's definition of scening (online scening?) and either that alone.... do this for me, now press there, I want you to fuck yourself for me, i want you to spank your dirty fucking clit 'till you scream..... . Or to add potency to RP ....I want you to use a certain toy / do a certain thing towards the climax of the play... Is also very cool, but, for me, not as good as getting so mentally involved in something that I am there, I can taste, smell and feel, and, oh fuck can I feel *shivers happily*.... your body knows what it feels like to be touched there, and stroked here, penetrated here and slapped in the face.... and for a lot of people if you just let go you can feel it...

There is joy to be found there if you are wired that way... not everyone is. Because this forum is stuffed with readers and writers (it is, after all, a library) it is not surprising that it is a hotbed of getting each other off with words *grins*

Ah jane, the height and breadth of your contribution to the discussion was nothing short of extravagant in my mind and so very much appreciated. I did see a few common themes between what you shared and what just_ine wrote, which indeed make me feel ever more hopeful about the potential for further online exploration. But of course you covered quite a bit of new ground for me by offering your own unique views and experiences with regard to online play.

To be sure, your explanation of role play was exactly the perspective I had of it - taking on a fanciful role like those you mentioned, a Victorian scullery maid or science fiction character. It seems sort of conflicted as I think of it, but candidly that type of role play isn't something I find appealing yet at the same time when I write erotica I do often find myself using such scenarios as plots.

Still with the new clarity that I seem to be apprehending after digesting the experiences shared in this thread by you and others I can see how some of the interactions in my former online relationship were indeed role play in a sense. Early on when we communicated only in text, I'd frequently share the story line of an erotic piece I'd written or planned to write, tailored to the proclivities of my partner and to the specific activities we were sharing. So while the emotions, the feelings and the responses were quite genuine, I see how there were elements of fantasy involved in it.

Yes - yes, the cybering part I think I get but of course I enjoyed reading your take on it since to be frank it was rather hot to read. But back to the substance of what you shared on those points, it did bring to mind another related issue involved in all this.

My former girl during our time together became well acquainted with how pain can enhance arousal and intensify pleasure and she thoroughly enjoyed that aspect of it. Yet of course given the limitations of the online environment versus rl the means of providing pain for a submissive are quite restricted. For example beating one's own arse with a hairbrush isn't ever going to be an experience that favorably compares to a dominant gripping you sternly by the upper arm, pulling you across his knee, jerking down your knickers and giving your bare bottom a proper spanking with a hairbrush is it?

There are some ways of delivering pain with the cooperation of the girl herself of course - things like clamps and clothes pegs on tender bits, perhaps a bit of self-performed cropping on those same sites at the behest of the dominant or even a slightly larger plug than a girl finds herself able to comfortably accommodate. But given the limited options online when it comes to effective delivery of pain that many submissive girls like, especially those with a more masochistic bent, I have pondered whether there are real solutions to the thorny problem of giving such girls the quality and quantity of pain that many of them crave.

The mention of erotica and how it can affect strong, sometimes almost visceral responses from us by pushing the buttons that produce for us intense arousal is a good analogy with online experiences. Playing online really is I suppose quite like reading a hot erotic story only with the addition of a real walking, talking interactive partner to share it with you.

The biggest thing for me, actually that which prompted me to write this post to begin with, is I truly enjoyed on so many levels the online relationship recently ended and there were so many positives that attended those experiences, I did want to experience them again. Yet I want to experience those things in similar fashion - I want the reality, not pretend or play acting. What you shared here gives me renewed hope that it is possible. At the end of it I am confident it all comes down to the partners involved. The trick is simply to find someone to play with who has complimentary appetites and with whom you can develop a connection.

Thanks so much for contributing your thoughts and views on the question posed. I found your insight quite helpful indeed.

Cheers,
S