Hello ZombieLove....it is always nice to see new people on the site. I have not been on long myself, but I am happier then I have ever been in my life. I am a collared and owned masochistic submissive/dlg. This maybe a different aspect then what you are looking for, but this is what makes this site such a great place. There are so many people here with a huge variety of kinks, I hope that you can meet someone to fulfill your needs. Just please be careful, not all are what they seem....some just want to get their rocks off...*grin*. But seriously I mean that in a bad way, so don't be in a rush and feel free to ask questions. As I matter of fact I strongly suggest you do research, read and ask the people who have been here the longest and have the most experience. I know most everyone here is so helpful and extremely nice that you will not find any trouble getting your questions answered.

I understand what you mean about being in public as a loving, respectful couple to those outside your lifestyle. It is possible and I truly believe most relationship dynamics in this lifestyle are like that. You know the saying..."A lady in the streets, a freak in the sheets" *wide grin*. We are mostly very private people about our lifestyle choices, not all understand why we live as we do *shrug*, it's one thing I accept because this is who I am inside. I have always been this way and you can't live only half alive, trust me I know, I tried. I have a loving, respectful relationship with my Sir, he treats me with the utmost respect when we are out together. Just because you are submissive doesn't mean you don't deserve respect as a person, even when you are alone together in your home. It is all about mutual respect, love and trust, things I found in my vanilla life that men seem to be lacking. It's funny how society sees our lifestyle as degrading to woman or men, when I have found the most respect, love and care with my Sir then any previous man has ever given me. I want for nothing and am treated like a lady always, but the delicious side of it all is when while in public he gives me that look, or a hand on my neck steering me, a subtle swat on the ass and a hard tug underneath my hair as we walk around. It sends shivers all through my body and lets me know I am HIS, always...and when we get home I will drop to my knees and do all he asks of me.

So never think you can't have it both ways, I feel it is how it should be in a truly balanced lifestyle. We cannot all live it 24/7, we have responsibilities, jobs, kids and bills to pay. But we can always know in our hearts and souls that when we get home and the bedroom door closes....we can be who we truly are and be complete.