Thank you everyone very much for the information and feedback. It has been an immense help to me in trying to understand both the community and some of my own issues with vulnerability. To be honest I'm still not entirely sure where I fall with all of this yet, but I believe it has much to do with the fact that I have never truly allowed myself to be vulnerable as a person, usually for good reason as every time I have tried to be vulnerable I have been betrayed and suffered immensely for it. With the help of this forum and my own self reflection I believe I emotionally may seek a certain level of submission as a means of trying to find a safe way to express my vulnerability, and deal with letting go of a lot of my repressed emotional damage, as well as to learn to truly trust in someone again. I'm not entirely sure how to proceed but much of what I have learned from all of your responses has certainly brought to light deep seeded emotional desires and longings that I have largely repressed, out of fear of showing my more submissive and ultimately more vulnerable side. I had often wondered why I had such a vitrolic negative reaction towards this community, yet also such a deep fascination for it. I think that it can't hurt to take a small step into expressing some of these desires and see perhaps if it is something that might work for me. I apologize to ask for any other advice as I have probably already taken up enough of it, but would any of you have any suggestions on how best I could safely begin to explore these desires?

Again Thank You
Fenea