I think part of the issue here is your definition of sadism. and I do think that in popular culture there is the 'sadist' who enjoys causing distress and harm to people, concent being irralivant and probably actively avoided. and the 'sexual sadist' or 'BDSM' sadist that enjoys the giving of pain in the context of a consent based relationship (which is what, correct me if I am wrong Justine) J was asking about. To add full to the fire it is still classified as a DSM criteria 'psychiatric disorder' but there is much debate about this amongst all involved and as it stands
Sadism is only considered pathological if it causes the person significant difficulties:


A. Over a period of at least 6months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies or sexual urges involving acts in which the psychological or physical suffering (including humiliation) of the victim is sexually exciting to the person.
B. The person has acted on these sexual urges with a nonconsenting person, or the sexual urges or fantasies cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulty

which I think sums it up quite nicely, yes it is pathological if it causes marked distress or interpersonal difficulty (the basic psychiatric talk for an 'addictive' activity which is out of control) OR is non consensual.

http://www.dsm5.org/Research/Documen...Feb%202011.pdf

The DSM Diagnostic Criteria for Sexual Sadism | PARAPHILIAS

so back to J's original question.
I suspect people who are sexual sadists (I mean in a healthy and no way pathological manner) are basically born that way, much in the same way that I think I was born with a 'subby' personality. yes I could be taught to Domme, and may even enjoy some aspects of it, but I would always know that inside I was subby......if that makes sense!?

Also I do think that when it comes to 'teaching' or 'training' it is a mine feild that has to be carefully negotiated as personally I can see how that sort of 'FWB' could easily become something more, which is fine if both want something more but could result in tears before bed time if one party is happy to keep it causal and the other falls more deeply than they expected or wanted. but I guess you could say that about any relationship.

finally, I would say the most important thing of all is safety. if you are engaging in any activity that is potentially harmful (particularly remotely) then you really really want the person who is in charge to be as experianced as is humanly possible, knowledgable and 'you focused at all times'.

Do I think that a subs opinion and experiance is valid and helpful and can ultimately make a sexual sadest a better sadest YES!!!!with bells on, and then more bells on top of those bells, but do I think that this 'training' should be in a 'FWB' relationship........that I am less sure of. but hay if it works for you it works!

(p.s lovely Justine, I adore you and your classy and helpful debates)