"I discovered that the girl I've been seeing is compleatly into.... BDSM?? Or Humiliation maybe.? I'm not sure the proper name, but a couple examples - spanking, deep throat, edging, being controlled, being ordered to do/ or not do stuff. I'm currently working out of town, and it could take a few months to get back home to her. She often tries to get me to say stuff over the phone or text. Thing is, I have never done anything like this before and I'm scared to say something dumb. Or what if I say something too extreme? I asked multiple times if there is stuff I shouldn't say, but she will not give me any answers. Please tell me what I can do here? I think it's crazy awesome that she's into this, and I could probably really get into it. I just don't know about over the phone. Thanks. "


First, I would not play with someone who will not communicate. Communication is always necessary when playing with the kind of stuff you mention. Her insistence that you 'work blind' as it were is not reasonable, you cannot read her mind.

Secondly, learning this over phone and texts is not a good way to do it, too much risk of getting it wrong.

Third: Do you know if she is a new comer or experienced?


And finally, I would read up on this stuff, browse this site for instance but with a critical mind. And I would think it over for myself: what exactly do you yourself want? And then I would learn in face to face encounters.

Set your own pace. Don't let her push you.