An age gap in D/s...

[chaostheory]

I've been thinking about this, and i wonder whether we aren't missing something here.
This is my train of thought:

What is the one thing that Dominants want from their subbies?
Obedience, yes.
Trust, yes.
Honesty, yes.
But those aren't the bare-bones crux of it... vulnerability is it. Being vulnerable to another is key.

Was this Dom perhaps not mistaking a low self confidence with vulnerability?
If he was praising you for a job well done, or encouraging you to be the best version of yourself, and at the same time confusing lack of self esteem with vulnerability, then this apparent lack of consistency make more sense. Perhaps he was trying to help you be vulnerable to to him.

Just a thought ...

Hi, thank you very much for your comment.

I'm a bit uncertain about what you are meaning though Please can you elaborate for me, if you don't mind? Are you asking if perhaps my Dom wanted to view me as having low self-esteem so that he could perceive me as vulnerable? Or that he perceived my vulnerability as a sign that I wasn't confident/have low self-esteem? Or are you meaning something else? (It is certainly true that he was openly encouraging me to be the best version of myself though - although I must admit that I disliked this a lot, as it wasn't negotiated beforehand, and I actually perceived it closer to being counteractive to boosting confidence as opposed to conducive to enhancing it).

I definitely enjoyed feeling vulnerable with him (not real vulnerability of course - as I knew I was safe with him, but it is fun to imagine otherwise during play), and while with him I was careful to show respect for him as my Dom and so wasn't as much of my forthright and no-filter self, I wouldn't necessarily have guessed that I could come across as genuinely vulnerable or having low self-esteem. My perception was very much that he wanted to prevent me from showing anything about myself that would demonstrate self-esteem (my interests, my achievements, my studies, and so on). Although I was certainly proactive in my attempts to demonstrate my strengths and confidence. But the more I did so, the more I encountered him blocking me on that.