Ideas for a month in chastity

[Nonstop]

Hi!

My hubby and myself are going to try continuos chastity on him for a month and my objective is to become more of a dom, which is not something natural on myself.

I was looking for ideas on things to do, ways to punish him, etc.

We are open to much of the stuff doable between himself and myself, for example he is going to be my personal sissy for the month, he is going to wear girly underwear all month long.

Any ideas in and out of bed.

[Solis]

Hello, Nonstop.

Being a dom (or domme) is about purposeful imposition of your will on another. In doing so, you force them to take the actions you dictate and to release that they're taking those actions because you dictated it. That is, you want to force them to take ownership of their submission. For example, "don't eat cheesecake" is a bad imposition because the sub can obey while still rationalizing the action ("i can't afford the calories, it costs a lot, i'm full, i really prefer creme brulee"). Contrarily, "I know you're going out for dinner with your business associates tonight. At dinner, you will be only permitted water. you will have precisely three glasses of water and you'll let the server know that they should be room temperature. If anyone questions you, you may only say 'it's complicated.'" Have him repeat those rules back to you and accept them ("yes, Mistress, i will obey.") After the dinner have him kneel and report.

The function of that exercise is simple: it gets him used to the new reality that you decide, he complies. Period.

But decide what? Remember, "purposeful imposition"? What's the purpose, how are you trying to change him? You might decide that he speaks before he thinks, that he rushes about mindlessly, that he doesn't really listen, that he wastes money, that he's given to self-loathing, that he's afraid to take chances, that he doesn't follow-up on his promises. Whatever. Pick one or two changes that you want to make in him and begin crafting rules that will bring that change about. Start small, be consistent and persistent, make him formally and verbally acknowledge your orders, then be willing to enforce your orders by punishing him when he fails you. But after punishment, he gets a clean slate. One of the reasons that d/s relationships thrive is we might go to bed with a newly-paddled bottom, but we don't go to bed with simmer, unresolved conflicts. At the same time, you would reward obedience, whether with praise, by letting him cum or with an otherwise-forbidden treat (a nice piece of Dove chocolate that you start by warming in your mouth before slipping it into his).

If you've got specific goals, we can surely talk. The general goal should be a more intense, more joyful relationship for you both.

I have faith in you both.

Solis

[Chocolateboy]

Thanks for this both...picked up a few tips here. Much appreciated