Agreed, medunsa, and thank you for your very true words.

The important part for me is here:
...I like is to be 'forced' to do things that will push me past my ability to cope, and we're both really aware that this can look like there's neither consent nor agency. We both know that there is, ...
The agency is there. It just isn't there for the world to see. And it doesn't need to be.


I also really agreed with:
I recognise that this simply wouldn't apply to a newer relationship, nor should it.
I can't agree more. How we relate to each other changes as the relationship grows. We can't start where yours are now. Just as you should never go back to where others may be now.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!