"Obedience is important. But that happens only after agency and consent. If obedience is asked for or demanded before agency and consent, run!"

I agree entirely. It also strikes me as the mark of an inexperienced top or bottom. There's a reason we consider a college diploma worth more than a participation certificate you printed out on your computer at home. One has meaning given by the effort it took to earn, one is just paper. I feel as though somebody just doing what another person orders without caring about it or understanding it, that's not a satisfying submission. The headspace of knowing that something is going to be really difficult for me, and I am going to commit to do it (or have it done to me) anyway, that's like a gift, both to myself and my partner. Agency is necessary for ethical consent, and it just also makes for a much hotter scene.