Good question.

Sexuality is a particularly fraught topic, so it might be easier to think about the underlying issue if we recast it in another realm.

Doms routinely control their subs' feeding behaviors. They set and monitor rules about what foods a sub is permitted, in what quantities, at what times, with what attendant rituals. For example, "you may eat nothing until you have texted me, requested a particular substance, and have received written approval. In the absence of a reply, you are permitted water at room temperature." More elaborately, "your breakfast tomorrow will be eight unfrosted pieces of mini-wheat cereal. you will arrange them in a circle on your plate with an inch between each piece. With your wrists crossed behind your back, you will lean forward and mouth one. One minute later you may consume the next. you will be silent and grateful throughout. If at any point you uncross your wrists, your meal has ended. Report to me as soon as it is done."

So, think about those rules and ask "what might these accomplish?" Off the top of my head:

1. in the case of a sub given to thoughtless, or stress, eating, it provides a useful discipline to help them achieve what might be an important life goal.

2. in the case of a new sub, it helps reinforce the habit of immediate, ongoing and conscious surrender to another's power.

3. in the case of a lonely sub, it creates a visible, visceral reminder of her connection to her Dom.

you might well imagine other good reasons. The common thread in valid reasons is that they are phrased as tools (or means) for achieving some higher goal that is sought by both sub and Dom. The rules do not have to be pleasant in order to be good tools; rather the opposite, the only really good rules are intrusive rules. If I told you to eat ooey, gooey, runny chocolate, you would ... but you'd have a mental "out," where you could say "i'm not doing this because He controls my life, i'm doing it because ... chocolate!!" If, instead, I told you to bite the tip off a jalapeno (uhhh, don't) and chew it, what story could you tell yourself ("i like 2d degree burns!") other than "i do as i am told"? A lot of the research on college hazing points in this same direction: students who survive hazing are fiercely loyal to the group that hazed them, but only when the hazing activities are otherwise unjustifiable.

Might a Dom control the time, place and manner of your sexual expression? Sure, but that control can only be justified in relation to achieving some mutually-shared goal. That means that you need to understand, accept and know when the goal has been achieved. The denial of sexual release in perpetuity, just as with the denial of nutrition in perpetuity, has no point other than satisfying the Dom's lust for more and more intense control. That impulse leans rather more toward a sadistic psychopathology than to the construct of a healthy, sustainable power exchange.

Solis