I need some advice from experienced masters. To begin I am a submissive. I truly care for my master, in fact I think about him all the time and I wish we were a couple but we are not. We are good friends in his eyes and he does not want a relationship. I think that if I hang in with him he may change his mind in the future. However here is the problem. I am feeling very neglected and unappreciated by him. Yes he does work long odd hours, hence I usually see him at his house after he finishes work which is usually at 1am or 2am. I also see him on sat nights but for a very different reason, that is more of a social gathering and no one at that gathering suspects our master/slave relationship. This Sat after everyone left I had a chat with my master. I told him it had been 4 weeks since we last played and had a master/slave session. I must have unconsiously let more frustration in my voice out than I had intended because he got angry. He said he was a busy man and I had to be more understanding. When we had first started he said we would meet once a week for a session and now it is more like once a month. He is also starting to be a bit sexually selfish with me. It seems that once he is pleased he sometimes forgets to please me. He also seems to be distracted when we do get together for a session and he is not as dominant as I would like him to be.
I sent him an e-mail today explaining to him that I want him to be my master and not my boyfriend. I also told him in the e-mail that even though we are not boyfriend/girlfriend that there is a special relationship between a master and a slave. I told him I feel neglected and that we went from once a week to once every 2 weeks then once every 3 weeks and now once every 4 weeks. I understand he is busy but I think I am being too understanding. He got me hooked onto the master/slave and now he barely sees me anymore. He says it is because of work and I know for a fact that he does not have another woman in his life. We were friends before we became master/slave so I know he is a workaholic but he promised me once a week and it is now becoming once a month. He said he does not want a relationship which is why in the e-mail I pointed out that there is somewhat of a relationship between a master/slave and I told him I feel neglected. I also want him to be more of a master when we are together in a session and he seems very distracted. It is like his heart is not into it.
I don't want to lose him and he says he is still interested just busy at work.
I also told him in the e-mail in all honesty that I don't want to go out finding another dominant to play with because it is going to be hard to find another dominant I feel as comfortable with and trustwise as well.
What he does not know is that I placed an ad seeking other masters to play with already but I get scared when it comes time to actually meet because trust is such a big issue with me and a part of me does feel guilty meeting other masters behind his back.
I want to know from other experienced masters reading this if you feel I am being fair or if I should be more understanding and give him more time? Maybe he will change. I don't know.