BBW,

Not having your needs met sucks!
Big hugs and hopes that you find what you are seeking.
If not this dom, then with the next.

If I ever wanted to seek out a real life sub or dom, I would start at my local scene.

If you're in a major city, there's bound to be a club or group that fits your personality type. You meet the members at a meet and greet called a "munch" - not in a club atmosphere - usually at a restaurant, or you visit one of the local events. Do your research, because there are typically rules to be followed for attending.
Here's an example set of rules from a group in Florida:
http://www.mastersquest.com/munch.htm

Why would I take this approach? Because subs help other subs. Members talk. If you start attending these events and watching the activities, you'll find prospective doms/masters. You'll make friends and get to know yourself better.

Starting on the Internet, you can use sites like www.collarme.com to broaden your search.

You have to be willing to sort through a lot of potentials and deal with outrageous e-mails/messages.
Be aware, be wary, and guard your identity.

To your success,

Ruby