Words cannot truly
Express how I am feeling
The wash of shame
And embarrassment
Over my professional abilities
I gave my heart and soul
It was more than just work
For me it was my life
Seeing the smiles
On students faces
Walking in with my head
Held so high a smile on my lips
Working with those peers who
I can consider life long friends
Hearing those words
Called in her office
You were unsuccessful
Sending daggers through my heart
Choking back tears
Unable to hold back
Sobs of anguish and disbelief
Feeling a hand on my shoulder
Telling me that it is okay
Being escorted to my car
So that parents with prying eyes
Cannot see my anguish, my tears
Told to not attend tonight's meeting
As talk of next year may be too painful
My life has been delivered another
Hurting and stinging blow
Moreso now than before
As I always used to say
I can fall back on my career
But that now too
Has gone
I will miss my classroom
Students who I adore
My peers and collegues
New Teacher day will be hell
Seeing another take over
My classroom for an hour
With students that should
Have been mine
Students that I should nurture
Guide and assist
I have three more weeks
Left in my safezone
Before I am cast out
On my own
People say it isn't the end
Teachers are needed
Applied for 28 positions now
Not one call back for an interview
Feeling helpless and worthless
My love was teaching at this school
The work and effort and strength
I put in, even through
My trials and tribulations
Amount to nothing


********


Special hugs to those on here (Yyou know who Yyou are) who took the time and consideration to read my application for this school and at least word me up to get me to interview stage...I suppose......it's fate that I cannot continue to work in an environment that has become so endearing and special in my life.

Perhaps it isn't so bleak, as my old Master used to say...I can always go back to being a subsitute subby teacher. *small smile*