Mexico Snuff One of the last places in North America where you can produce a snuff film is Mexico. It is just too risky in the US or Canada. After receiving a death sentence from my Dr a few months ago, and loving snuff the way I do, I decided to combine the two. If I was going to die while still in my youth and from a horrible disease, why not give something to the snuff film world and go out the way I want with honor. People who commit suicide with pills or a gun are hacks. They don't realize the opportunity they have to die with honor and make a statement. I'm not for suffering in my chosen death method, mind you, I just want to experience a spectacular death and have it filmed for all to see in the dark world I have enjoyed for so long. I told a few of my friends what I was going to do and promised them that the video would be sent to them after it was over. I had a few contacts in Tijuana for films and knew they could hook me up with some of the guys who produced them. I tied up all my affairs and loose ends and headed south. After finding a hotel in Tijuana, I went to a seedy part of town and found my old friend Jose. He seemed surprised and saddened after I told him I was dying, but he thought he could help and said the producers of these films were always looking for volunteers, usually druggees. In my case, I was a fully consenting adult. The only drugs I sought were oxycontin and ecstasy. For the death I wanted, I'd need plenty of pain killers if I were to be conscious and lucid until the end. Jose gave me the painkillers for free since he'd get a finders fee for bringing me to the filmmakers. They don't usually do snuff with guys, but if I were willing to snuff a girl first as part of the story, then they would use me. I could have just paid someone to kill me, but that wasn't what I wanted. We boarded a bus to a small town 300 miles south way out in the desert. The bus let us off in the middle of no where. Within minutes, a crappie old Chevy pulled up and I was frisked and we sped off for a place in the mountains another hour away. When we arrived, I was parched and tired. We had a nice dinner and drank tequila. These were some slick boys who produced these films and always one step ahead of the law. A few hundred american dollars always greased the cops. Once they knew I wasn't a cop, we got down to business. They wanted to film in a few days. No film ever took more than a day to shoot and turned 10s of thousands in profits. They wanted me to chase a girl through the woods, catch her, tie her up, rape her and then gut her before I slit her throat to kill her. Afterward, her boyfriend and his friends would catch me and do whatever I wanted them to do to me. Rafael, the director, said I could have whatever I wanted for the scene of my own death. They had never done a film like this before and so he decided to indulge me. I told him that I wanted to be quickly dismembered until only my torso was left and then have the guys cut my torso in half to kill me. If all went well, and they worked quickly, I would still be alive for the camera with only my upper torso and head. I could talk so everyone would know the film was not faked. Rafael was amazed at how cavalier I was talking about my own death and how gruesome it was going to be. He quickly agreed and knew it would be a winner. We were to film on Tuesday. I had to study a cheesy script which I could ad-lib my way through if I wanted. On Monday, we would choreograph and story board the two death scenes so that it would flow correctly and look good for the camera. We all got drunk Monday night and had a great time. I gave Jose the addresses of my few close friends back home for some free copies. I slept like a baby the night before I would kill and then be killed. The girl was a local drug dealer who had betrayed a big supplier. To save her family, she had to agree to be snuffed in this film. I felt bad for her, but it was the way things were done down here. I was assured she would be drugged up and feel nothing when it was time for me to snuff her. I would also be close to an OD myself when my time came. They said I'd have to act as if I felt the pain because the combo of the two drugs was very effective. Rafael said he'd seen one girl chop off her own wrist with a hatchet, lay the hatchet down and use her one good hand to finish eating a sandwich in one scene. Another time, a woman gutted herself and then ran around the set with her intestines hanging out before she collapsed. I was glad to hear the drugs would keep me mostly pain free. I wanted to add one part to the scene. The men who caught me would force me to stab myself first or they would cut off my genitals before killing me. Rafael agreed. I got up quickly Tuesday morning and we all had hangovers. The whole crew, the girl and I had breakfast. She was very pretty and I had a hard time believing I would kill her before noon and that I would be dead by 2 PM. It was now 9 AM and Maria downed a huge amount of tequila and then swallowed a hand full of pills. She just looked at me and smiled. She then leaned over and kissed me on the cheek and left to get dressed in her sleazy outfit for the shoot. I just wore the jeans I was in with no shirt. It was simple, we would stand in the middle of the wooded area. We would argue. She would run toward a camera. I would knock her out, pick her up, take her inside a barn where I would tie her to the wall and then kill her. Afterward, her boyfriend and some other guys would find me drunk on the floor of my home and tie me to a large beam where they would force me to stab myself and then hack me to death as I watched and screamed. Before I knew what was happening, we were ready to shoot. I took my spot in the middle of a clearing and Jose shook my hand and said to have fun. Maria took her spot and the director yelled, "Action." Maria began cursing at me in spanish and slapping me. I wasn't prepared for that and tried to defend myself. She then pulled out a knife and stabbed me in the gut. I flinched and fell to the ground shocked and surprised. Rafael yelled, "Cut." I stood up and they laughed at me including Maria. They got a very real scene. I was bleeding but it didn't matter since I'd be dead soon. The next scene called for me to chase Maria through the woods, catch her and knock her out. As she took off toward another camera, I followed and grabbed her. As she kicked and spit at me, I hit her hard across the face and she fell to the ground. I then picked her up and carried her to the barn. There were shackles on the wall for her hands and feet and there were bright lights to make the scene suitable for the camera shot. It was like a hollywood set. I tied her ankles and wrists to the wall and she struggled and continued to spit at me. I gagged her and ripped off her clothes. She had a beautiful body and luscious breasts. Now came the hard part, I had to kill another human being if I wanted to be killed in the manner I had chosen. I pulled out my knife and slashed at her thigh as I sucked on her breast. The drugs had obviously taken effect as she didn't even notice the gash in her leg. After seeing it, she just looked at me with fear in her eyes. I was to stab her a few times before gutting her. The cameraman came up along side and filmed a close-up as I kissed her cheek and thrust the knife into her belly. He eyes bugged out and she just stared at me. I pulled it out and then stabbed her on the left side. I couldn't tell if she was in pain or just shocked knowing she would be dead soon. I pulled down my pants and I was erect and ready to rape her bleeding body. This would be our last sex if you can call it that. I pushed my cock up between her legs and forcefully fucked her dying body. She felt warm and tight and seemed to enjoy this last pleasure. I almost forgot about the camera and crew. I climaxed inside her, pulled out and zipped up. She smiled even though she knew I was about to finish her off. I rubbed my hand in her blood and wiped it on my chest and her face. Now I had to gut her like a pig. I took the sharp edge of the knife and raked it against her left side till it tore open her body then quickly sliced across to the right side then up to her ribs. She moaned and dropped her head. As I pulled the knife out, her bowels spilled out over her genitals and thighs and onto the ground. It looked like thick red spaghetti with blood everywhere. After allowing the camera to film the scene from every angle, I was to slit her throat finally killing her. She just looked at me as I held the blade to her neck finding her artery. I sliced deep and fast. The blood shot out with force like a broken water main and her eyes closed as she lost consciousness. She was dead. I kissed her cheek again. Now it was my turn. They cut her down and took the body away in a pick up truck. Would that be my fate? They had to set up for my scene and get the lights ready in the house. I only had an hour. Jose gave me the pills, nearly a half dozen of each and a bottle of tequila. I took them all at once and then a swig. I finally got the worm this one last time. After the half hour was up, I was feeling pretty liquored up and definitely no pain. Walking was not easy. I took the knife and cut my arm. I only felt the pressure and watched as the blood oozed out. Like sitting in a dentist chair, I was numb and ready for the drill. But there was no drill, only a knife and an ax. I prayed for a painless yet spectacularly horrible and gruesome death. I wanted people who saw this video to marvel at the mayhem that was about to befall my body. I was told to lay on the floor and hold the bottle of tequila in my hand and pretend to be unconscious. This was not much of a stretch. The guys would burst through the door and drag me to my death and tie me to a beam near the same barn where I had killed Maria. I barely knew the filming had started when the door burst open and several men cursed at me in spanish and kicked and beat me as they dragged me outside into the open yard. I was so drugged by now that I didn't feel anything. The cameras followed as they held me up against a large beam and tied me around the neck, chest, waist and legs, so tightly that I was choking. They allowed my arms to be free, but I couldn't struggle in my condition. One man held a machete, another held an ax and a third held a knife. I didn't understand the language, but I knew what I was supposed to do. They sliced off my belt and dropped my pants. My privates were hanging free. John, Maria's boyfriend, said that if I didn't want to have my penis cut off and stuffed in my mouth, I would have to stab myself. He said I would suffer less if I did it. I knew I was being filmed and that they were acting, but they were also going to kill me for real as I had requested. It plays with your mind. I had added this to the script as a teaser and I liked it. People seeing it would not believe anyone would voluntarily stab themselves and it would lend credibility to the film. I had always wanted to feel what it was like to stab myself, but outside of suicide, the wound would have been horribly painful as it healed. I would never heal from this. I would be dead in less than an hour. This gave me the strength and courage to do it. I asked for the knife and John handed me a huge bowie double edged blade. As I held the knife with my body exposed to the hot sun and knowing that these men would soon tear my body apart, I felt free and gratified that I would not waste my death in a bed with months of agony. I smiled into the camera and held the knife up in the air ready to plunge it into my belly. I barely felt my arms fall, but with all my strength pushed down and toward my body. The tip of the knife pushed through skin, muscle, organs and hit my backbone. It stopped suddenly and must have lodged itself between two vertebrae. I tried to pull it out, but couldn't. I felt some burning pain, but mostly pressure. They were amazed at my courage in this scene and it gave them pause even though they had killed numerous victims in these movies. I now longed for the finale. John pulled one of my arms out and I watched as the machete hacked it off above the elbow. He then pulled my other arm tightly and it too was gone. I felt the bone shatter and watched as the blood dripped from both stumps. I flailed what was left of my arms as if fighting them, but my tattered flesh looked comical and hideous. They laughed and someone else picked up the ax and positioned himself for swinging it at my body like I was a tree to be cut down. With my arms gone and bleeding, I felt shock coming on fast. There was some dull pain coming from my arms. The man with the ax would have to work quickly to make the scene work with me still alive as only an upper torso. He just looked at me and made the first swing. I heard and felt the ax hit the beam I was tied to and looked down. I had barely felt the blade go through my ankle. He swung again with incredible force slamming the blade through my right leg above the knee and shaking the pole behind me. I flinched as my right leg fell away to the ground. I looked at it still moving and closed my eyes only to be shaken again as the ax took off my left leg mid thigh. The other men were mesmerized by this scene with me conscious as my body was taken apart. Through my drug induced fog, I watched as the cameras came in close to film my horrific injuries and to catch the evidence that I was still alive. John suddenly pulled the knife out of my innards and grabbed my genitals pulling them away from my body. He said, "I lied." and proceeded to cut them away. I felt only pressure as he held them up for me to see. He pushed my penis into my mouth and spat at me. He looked over at his friend with the ax and nodded to finish me. This was it. I would be dead soon. I watched in slow motion as the ax came at my midsection. It did not go all the way through in spite of my executioner's best efforts. I looked down and my guts were strewn out over my hips. He swung again and I felt the blade hit the beam. My backbone had been shattered. I looked down again to see my hips lower than before, but still attached. One more time he swung the ax and my body fell against the remaining ropes around my neck and upper chest. I looked down at my hips, legs and arms on the ground. Blood was everywhere. The camera came in close and then I saw the blade out of the corner of my eye slicing through the air toward my neck. My eyes were wide open as the gleaming blade made contact.
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